I didn’t celebrate my first Mother’s Day last year because sneaking in as much rest in between feeding/washing/cleaning/latching/pumping duties & figuring out our newborn took precedence over everything else.

Regrettably, it was also the first time that I didn’t celebrate it with my mom like we always do – be it a hug & a kiss or bonding over a simple meal. All she got was a text message about how exhausted I was about waking up several times through the night followed by a “Happy Mother’s Day to you too!”. I know, what a self-centered idiot, right? But of course I made up for it as soon as I realized that the world didn’t just revolved around my newly minted “mom” status.

And mom being the kind, generous, loving lady that she’s always been was quick to forgive & forget about it (she wasn’t even angry at her ill-mannered daughter) and even asked how else she could help to ease our tensions in addition to the moral & physical help that she was already contributing.

Our moms are always the best in our eyes and mine is no exception.

“You’re taking me for granted!”, she used to say in a shaken voice during one of those adolescent-induced arguments. Deep down inside, somewhere somehow, after calming down, I knew she was right.

Since my earliest memory as a child, I often assumed that my mom rather pursue her career than enjoy spending time with me. I was angry that my other classmates could boast that their mom stayed at home with them while I was sent to my grandma’s place to be looked during the day. I was angry that my mom had to ask her younger brother (who was staying at my grandma’s then) to help me with/check my homework because she had to work till late again. I was angry that she had to attend night classes instead of hearing about my day at school. I was angry that she wasn’t there to pick me up from school like my other classmates’ moms, except when I was ill and am sent home.

I was quite the troubled child. I had so many questions that I didn’t get the answers to. But thankfully my frustrations were also short-lived. When it came to weekends or days off or end of a long day, mom was 200% mine and would listen earnestly to what I had to share.

And it wasn’t till I realized that my dad couldn’t be bothered whether he had a family or not to care for, that mom was busy making ends meet all along. In addition to being both mom & dad. In addition to needing to soothe my often-emo temperament on having a dysfunctional family. In addition to making sure I didn’t feel shortchanged in any way when it came to education & learning. In addition to dealing with my constant question of why I didn’t have any sibling(s) (because it was too costly as much as she would have loved to).

As sole bread winner , she took on night classes & sit for exams in order to be considered for a better job position (which demanded for a higher salary naturally), and took on extra jobs. And blessed her/us abundantly, the Lord graciously did.

Recently mom shared that the reason why she continues to pamper both me & the bub by sponsoring some fun classes for us to enjoy, and is so supportive of me being a SAHM regardless how temporary is because she wants me to have the opportunity she never had. My eyes welled up in tears of gratitude as I heard this. I now know why her face lights up like a million watts every time she sees the chungkin. She always looks forward to seeing him, hearing about him, seeing photos/videos of him, and would make her way to see him right after work 3-4 times a week even if it was only for 20-30mins before his sleep time. And she relishes these moments spent with him. Even managed to single-handedly take him to an outing to Hokey Pokey recently because she knew how much he’d love cruising around freely.

She loves & pampers the chungkin a lot – sometimes to fault but yet I know that it’s because she never had the chance to experience anything more than a “weekend mom” with me. And I relent.

So even though I’ve been a mom for about over a year, Mother’s Day to me is & will always be about celebrating the wonderful lady that holds a very special place in my heart. The lady that continues to give me immensed strength, love and positivity during my down days, even when she’s having one herself. The lady who never fails to pick up a cue on my moods no matter how hard I try to hide. The lady whom I used to talk about my BGR woes freely with. The lady with the smile. The lady who treats her son-in-law like her very own. The lady whom most of her team colleagues often endear her as “mama”.

You get the drift. My momma & me, we’re more than BFF-tight. :)

Linking up with:

On the eve of little man’s first birthday, I got really emotional.

The photobook, our birthday present to him, which I painstakingly sacrificed 1.5 weeks of decent sleep (& TV marathons with the Bo) for arrived just hours earlier.

And as I went through it in enjoyment & detail, savouring page after page of captions and notes to my little man that I had written for every month & milestone he celebrated along with the photo collages; tears started to well up in my eyes.

Admittedly I was exhausted after having spent the evening moving an entire living & dining area of furniture in preparation for the party. But these tears, they weren’t caused by exhaustion. They were tears of joy, pride, love that synced with familiar, beautiful memories that I got to experience with the little fella in the past year.

{our birthday present to the little man – a photobook filled with personal messages and memories of his first year}

Watching Liam grow from baby to the toddler that he is today has been nothing short of amazing and a very, very blessed privilege – thanks to  three very special people who love us both so dearly and made this possible, even to the extend of making some personal sacrifices.

And because I’m aware how I’m often quick to brush things off and slow to express enough how appreciative and thankful I am to be able to enjoy motherhood the way my mom wished she could but never had the chance to due to our situation then, I just wanted to document it here officially to 3 very special people who are also my 3 biggest readers – THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE FOR US.

Each of you have made a positive impact in my life in more ways than you know, and I can’t thank you enough for all the love you’ve showered us with and will continue to shower us more with; for all the contributions, sacrifices, the prayers, the advices, the pampering, the support. Having you in my life was definitely part of HIS perfect plan for I’ve experienced & been overwhelmed by His grace  & love through you.

Being the current stay-home mom that I am, there are times I look back on my career years in hindsight & wished I made a more serious effort to save more for the future, for the family I have now, instead of being the closet hippie I was & attempting the “living-in-the-now” with whatever I earned. But of course, we were all careless with our finances once upon a time. My weaknesses were definitely buying cult jeans, shoes, sunglasses and beauty products. Who would have knew I had to give up on very decent income to become a mom and not have the best of both?

Yet in spite having to work around a budgeted allowance now that I’m a resource sucker, the little one & I have been blessed to still be able to have the occasional nice meals out, explore kid-friendly playgrounds & play gyms, attend all sorts of music, art & other fun social interaction trials – in addition to the wallet-friendly activities that we already do such as walking around the neighbourhood, visit our little friends’ homes for a playdate, visiting the nearby (water)park.

It hasn’t been easy,  adjusting my heavily-influenced-by-media-colleagues-lifestyle around an allowance after being a decently-salaried employee since graduating from school yet the little guy & I do get our regular dose of pampering whenever possible (notwithstanding their nags).

Granted some cost-cutting measures are necessary, such as frequent holidays that we used to go on are frequent no more, along with others – I’m still thankful & grateful for these 3 deeply-loved people in my life.

Thank you Lord for them!

The little chungkin turned ONE on Saturday, over the long Easter weekend. Hip hip hooray!!!

To celebrate, we threw a lovely themed party in the comfort of our home from one of his (and mine) favourite books – THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR – and invited as many friends (another great excuse to see our friends) to share our joy of being parents for a year!

We had so much fun! 

As co-host, I didn’t have any hands or time to snap as many photos as I would have liked, so here’s some teaser snaps taken during the preps till I get my hands on more decent photos of party day.

{the centrepiece was a simple DIY caterpillar that was put together on the eve of the party}

{personalized take home favour bags}

{at my most art + craft mode yet}

{our birthday gift to Liam – a book filled with memories and moments of his first year}

{on birthday morning}

More details & visuals of the birthday party on the blog, soon!

ching chong boy!!!

It’s 6.30pm on New Year’s Eve 2012 and the little man just fell asleep out of exhaustion (he finally crawled laps around his play yard earlier today. hello milestone!) and for the day.

He probably won’t know that he’s gonna wake up to a brand new year tomorrow morning – 1 Jan 2013. Not that it’ll make a difference to him.

And as I see my most single friends checking-in their Facebook status in their NYE get-ups, instagramming their dinner venue of choice to mark the last day of the year; I can’t help but marvel at my first NYE/NY moment as a parent. I don’t quite know how to word it, but it feels amazing to end the year and start another one with a healthy bubba in the family.

This new year’s eve we’re having a quiet, cozy night in. I’ve decided not to get mom to help with babysitting duties as willing as she has offered but instead requested for a home dinner to be shabu shabu followed by some barbecued dried preserved fish + beer a la Izakaya style as we countdown and toast to each other (reminiscing how the Bo & I spent NYE/NY in Japan ushering in 2011 and also what a lovely year it turned out to be with the pregnancy happening in Jul 2011).

If there’s anything or anyone to be extremely thankful for this year, it’s certainly my dinner companions for going all out and being superbly supportive in every way possible. And a first countdown with our little pride of joy, albeit a sleeping one but hey I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a little peck & new year whisper, I wouldn’t want to miss that “first” :)

Here’s wishing you a very Happy & Blessed New Year, with continued joy, laughter, good health, love, fond memories within family & friends.

{earlier in the day, having a NYE brunch with playdate Ashley}

The little man turned 8 months today and to celebrate, I decided to take some time off (party planning mode) and spent some mom + son time over some coffee & cakes.

It was just us two, and he was every bit the charmer – allowing me to enjoy my brew and grub as he throw me plentiful of smiles, over the shoulder hugs & “mam mam mam mama mama bababa” talk that others around us couldn’t help but reciprocate his smiley greetings with more smiles.

It was a fantastic date. Definitely impressed the socks off mama here.

I love you so so so so much my bub bub.

Remember the ah-amazing weekend I blogged about some 4 weeks back with my group of yummy mummies?

Well, amazing mum KK uploaded the edited photos on her FB tonight and it was such a great way to end today.

Looking at all the lovely colors & smiles on everyone’s faces brought back lots of happy thoughts & vibes as I scrolled through the photos amidst doing my night pumping (haha, the things we do to occupy ourselves away from the mundane tasks).

I can’t be thankful enough for the very supportive & wonderful yummy mummy network, and the treasured friendships that we all share. It’s amazing how fate brought us to each other and closer for that matter. And the honesty & love that flows within just warms my heart each time we’re snooping or ranting our hearts out.

Here’s my favourite selection of the lot. Especially the Bo & Chungkin (papa + son) shots…aww finally something frame-worthy for the home. And happy to announce that we finally have some decent family photos too! Although I really need to lose the remaining 10!

{the team of YM..am going to miss yummy mummy A when she leaves for Lux real soon}

{hanging out with SL & KK}

{the chungs}

{sings: we are family}

{por por gets to join in the fun too!}

{papa & his mini-me} *swoon

{my 2 favourite men}

Of late, it’s been a breeze getting the little man to nap. Because he’s getting way too good at his flips and all, he’s been resisting needing me to wind him down before naps via patting & singing and would wind down on his own by rolly-pollying around the cot for a good 5 minutes till he finds a position comfortable enough to start dreaming away.

It’s hilarious whenever I observe it from an unobtrusive corner.

So anyhow, he woke up one morning and wore this really dazed expression that was too cute I decided to snap it for keepsake.

When I read June’s recent blog post on Love Stories, like many I just couldn’t resist reminiscing about ours.

Realized that I hadn’t document one to remember (also for Liam’s benefit if he’s ever interested to impress some girl with) so here goes…

*CAUTION: It’s going to be a long one…

It was end 2003 when I first met the Bo. He was part of the ‘brothers brigade’ from the groom’s side to gatecrash the wedding that morning while I was one of the 3 ‘sisters’ from the bride’s up against those..erm, 8 men.

[Digression: Me and another 'sister', we had been colleagues for a few months when she (bride) suddenly asked if we would help out with her wedding affairs. And being first timers at this whole gate crashing affair, we thought...why not? Turns out it was part of HIS plan.]

So anyhoo…

During the wedding day, the bo + friend & me + friend were grouped together (2 bridesmaids + 2 groomsmen) to make logistics such as traveling from place to place easier. I didn’t think much of the bo initially, though I did steal a few glances in between, wondering why he was all coy unlike his other good friends who were such amicable folks.

It wasn’t till the wedding dinner later that evening that I found out that the Bo was going to sing during the couple’s 1st wedding march. Woahh. I joked out loud that for a person who barely uttered a sentence all day, it was difficult to believe that he was actually going to sing (and not lip sync). Turns out he was quite the singer (from what I heard), I wasn’t able to hear the performance as I had to manage the reception for guests who arrived late (bummer).

Nothing else happened that evening. The Bo remained his aloof self and I ended up drinking and laughing my night away with the groom’s younger brother instead.

During that same period, I was also going through a rather rough patch with my boyfriend of 3 years then. I yearned for my personal space & freedom to do the things I wanted instead of constantly spending weekends at the garage checking out the latest automobiles modifications.

It was after a BBQ at a friend’s one night. It was 10pm – I didn’t feel like heading home yet and it being the weekend, I started texting friends and asked they were game for a night of chatter & supper. None of my usual kakis were spontaneous enough and so I moved on to texting some of the “brothers” from the wedding as I chanced upon their contact numbers in my phone list. Not sure what went through my mind when I saw Bo’s number (I was probably really desperate for some company!) but I sent a “game to meet now?”

Within minutes he replied “sure, why not”.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. For a while, I thought that I had probably mistaken his number/name for the wrong person. But hey, I wanted company right? So I responded, “I’m serious. Now now now. How long will it take you to get out”.

In an instant I received another reply: “20 minutes. Where are you?”

It felt so exhilarating and exciting! For a start I wasn’t sure if the person who was responding so quickly was indeed the Bo. Yet if he was, this was obviously another side of him that I didn’t know about. Before I knew it, the phone was ringing. He called for my exact location.

Turns out it was the Bo alright. He picked me up and the moment I got into the car (note: we hadn’t had a proper conversation prior), I was just chatting away about my day and asking how was his. We hit it off rather naturally. No awkward silence. No weird vibes. We even had a petrol stop where I said I was going to get some mints to freshen up my breath for his benefit since I was going to be talking a lot. Honesty much?

We went on to have coffee & cakes and there I was, talking and talking like I’ve never had anyone listen to me talk before. And by the time we left for home at 4.30am, I was still yakking away.

Over the next few weeks, our wee night supper & coffee meets became a regular affair (also because I had an insane job which ended at 10pm & beyond). Going out with him was something I constantly looked forward to, because it just felt so comfortable and nice. There were no hidden agendas –  he knew I was with someone and I knew he was almost going to date exclusively with someone else. We respected that. Our outings mainly revolved food, tek tarik and a lot of conversations.

Some months later, the Bo started to ignore my text messages after I wished him Merry Christmas that same year. I texted several times asking if anything was wrong to no response and this continued into weeks and months. Initially I thought that he might have been posted overseas for work but it wasn’t till I got in touch with the bride (we were now ex-colleagues) that I found out that he had been seeing someone else since that Christmas. I was a little cheesed off. He had gone all silent without a word. But after hearing his explanation some years later, I could see why he did what he did. Being him, he definitely didn’t want to stir any feelings of insecurity or two-timing with the girl he was seeing hence he chose to shut out every other female in his life. Hmm.

During other conversations with the bride some months down the road, she would sing praises of the Bo occassionally and mention how I should consider someone like him if I was ever looking to date again although ironically hinting that it might be a bad idea due as we had quite the age gap. I wasn’t keen in what she was saying anyway – I was in midst of a great career jump, new phase of life (just turned 21!), he sounded like he was in a great r/ship and was looking to settle down the last we spoke.

Until some 3 years later.

I received a text message while on my way to work one morning from the Bo. “Dinner tonight?”, it read.

I paused for a while, thought long & hard, before replying “if you can wait for me to end work at 10.30pm”.

“Sure,” the reply came in seconds after. “Text me your address and I”ll be there”.

To be honest, I wasn’t overly excited about ‘the date’. But hey, I could do with some dinner and I was available anyway.

So we met that night. Felt good to see him again though.

Over dinner, he apologized for his sudden disappearance, gave me the cheesiest of explanations but what surprised me was how we managed to pick up so easily from where we last left off even after 3 years. The laughter, chemistry & conversations came on so naturally.

Soon, we were meeting for dinners almost every week. During one random dinner, he offered to drive me & my girlfriends up to KL after I mentioned that we were intending to make a trip there. Funny how my mom (yes my mom!) wanted to tag along the girls trip too! We weren’t dating or anything but I remember being bugged by my mom and my girlfriends a lot during the frequent toilet breaks if we were an item because they could sense the love that was sizzling between us during the long drive. Oops.

I reinterated that we were just good friends and I remember mom going “just wait and see.”

So long story short (….. I’m getting there!)…

Bo asked me over to his place one night on the pretext that his bedroom was sparse and he could do with a woman’s touch. “Whatever for? To impress the next girl you’re going to date ah?” I asked nonchalantly, telling him that he had better thank me should he impress the socks out of the next right one that comes along, before dishing out my critique & suggestions.

It was when he said “out of all the suggestions, what would impress YOU the most?” that I started to blush. I knew where this was heading… and because the dynamics of our relationship was too honest & comfortable, it started to feel awkward… I tried brushing it off but he knew how to get the answer out of me eventually. And that night I lay in his arms for the very first time as we star-gazed ourselves to sleep.

And each time I saw him after that, my heart would skip a beat. It still does today. He just has that effect on me.

{Dating – Jan 2007}

{Dating – Feb 2007}

10 months into the relationship, the Bo suggested a trip to California. He had planned an itinerary which sounded so exciting, I couldn’t say no. Mom speculated that there was probably going to be a proposal involved but I didn’t think much of it.

Turns out mom knew best.

It was just right after sunset at the Grand Canyon when the Bo went down on a bended knee and asked if I would be his. My heart literally stopped. It felt so surreal – a proposal from the man I love against the gorgeous backdrop of God’s creation *hyperventilates*, with a gorgeous ring that fit my fourth finger perfectly. Oh golly! I was in tears of joy!

I was curious to how he managed to get my ring size and planned it all so nicely, sneaking the ring through customs without my suspicions! Called mom to inform her the news the moment we got some network reception a day after and guess what was her response? “I knew it!!!”. Hah Mom also surprised us with champagne & chocolate coated strawberries during our stop in San Fran later in the trip.  Aww…

{engaged! in California}

We tied the knot exactly a year after the proposal on 14 June 2008. And on that wedding night, I finally got to hear my husband sing for the first time via a sabotage request by our emcees (who were also part of the groomsmen). And boy, he’s quite the singer :)

{post wedding tea ceremony – 14 June 2008}

I always wondered how would one know when they have met the one. And now realizing how everything worked out so nicely, such as being in the same company as the bride for a mere 5 months which led to me being one of her  bridesmaid which led me to meet the Bo; and how it was only 3 years later that we were both available & ready for a relationship with each other that it made PERFECT sense how it was part of God’s beautiful plan. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Now, we’re bobo + me = baby chungkin.

Thursday evening. The queens were invited to Ning’s cointreauversial event – very proud of this babe of a good friend that she was chosen as the brand’s ambassador for Singapore – and it was such a magical night.

I enjoyed wearing my pair of heels regardless how awkward the BR said I looked walking in them and how achy they made my feet at the end of the night.

The crowd was good, mingling was good, photo taking with the girls was good, canapés was good, and drinks too (so I was told – bfing mama here, remember?). I had such a blast and couldn’t be happier for the very gorgeous Ning.

And to top it off, we won the best group photo of the night (hur hur hur) and wore such astonished expressions as we collected our prizes as if it was the most dreaded thing, to be winning something. I guess none of us really expected anything more out of what was already a great party! Haha!

Just a year ago, my mom was turning beautiful 50. I had a surprise planned for her and oh golly, never did I expect in my wildest dreams that having a grandson to celebrate her special day would take place a year later.

So this year, although I was mostly confined to home (except for a trip to the doc to get my swollen eye checked + a quick much needed pedi :p), we still managed a cozy celebration for the most amazing woman in my life. Yes, there weren’t presents nor dining out at some nice fancy place to pamper the birthday girl but there was an additional someone special to make all that difference. Plus, did I mention that he sent a beautiful bouquet to his grandmama at the office too (with the help of mama of course)?

And from me…(because I know you’re reading this mom)

Happy Birthday mom,

Thank you for being the amazing and positive person that you are.

You are the kind of mom I inspire to be to Liam, being there for most, if not all his ups and downs. 

Your endless energy and encouragement is infectious and it never fails to cheer up my day.

And on this special day, I would like to wish you many more wonderful moments & amazing experiences ahead.

Plenty more of joy and love to come your way. 

Love you mom! 

xo.

I absolutely love my BR. Because she’s the sort of bestie that makes you wish the world had more of, plus she’s going to be the chungkin’s godmama (which I know she’s darn stress about. Haha. Responsibilities, don’t they freak out the best in us at times?) in just a few days/weeks’ time.

We had a smashing good time catching up over some (delish) brunch at Baci Italian Cafe earlier this morning and a follow-up in the evening at my crib when she came over to help complete the finishing touches of ‘chungkin’s corner’. I did give her some ‘tough moments’ with the pasting of the decals initially, which I’d admit was not easy to do especially needing to ensure that everything was stuck as straight as possible; though kudos to BR that she managed to get the hang of it soon enough and did such a fantastic job!

Everything-chungkin looks so put together now despite the fact that we only have a corner to offer to our little bub at the moment, but just looking at it over and over again makes my heart smile so much. I know that baby chungkin is going to enjoy his little corner.