It was one of those evenings. Where motherhood was more trying.

The little boy threw a tantrum because I wouldn’t let him cruise around his pram in the train nor in the supermarket.

So I did what I thought best could pacify him. I held him closely in one hand, pushed the pram with the other while stopping to pick things that I needed from the various shelves in the supermarket intermittently. But that didn’t suffice. He wanted to do something which he had so much fun doing with papa just 2 days ago  He wanted to keep pushing the pram on his own till it hit a wall/someone/came to a halt. (Psst: the Bo apologized the moment I related the incident to him, knowing that he attributed to Liam wanting his way with the pram)

I completed ignored his plea & fuss of course. I just wanted to pay for the groceries quickly, hope to get a taxi despite the heavy downpour and get him home where he cruise himself silly.

And that’s when it became even more trying.

In between trying to grab my groceries with one hand from pram basket to counter and paying… the little fella started to cry, arch his back, kicked and pushed me away. “Tsk tsk”, I started to hear other people make sounds around me. I ignored those very unnecessary, judgmental sounds.

Then there was the long snaking taxi queue which put me in bigger misery. It was raining, I couldn’t get through the lines of the 3 taxi companies for a good 10 minutes, the chungkin was crying & screaming because I wouldn’t let him snatch the phone from me. Some folks tried to conveniently cut the queue thinking that the lady-with-a-pram-full-of-groceries-and-a-wailing-baby would be too busy to notice. But they were not worth my effort and depleting energy to manage with. My 9.6kg son was. Thank goodness some 12 minutes later of listening to music on loop, we finally got a taxi booking!

While on the journey home, I reflected on my actions. Perhaps I could have handled the situation better instead of ignoring Liam. Perhaps I shouldn’t have zoned out and focus on finishing my tasks and should have made an effort to soothe the wailing and whining that was probably irritating everyone else instead. I probably deserved those unforgiving looks. But hey, I did what was best for us both at that time. At 13 months, I don’t think the little fella would have any patience for one of those “learning to deal with frustrations” talk.

Ironically I used to be one of those people who wondered which parents could actually bring themselves to ignore their wailing kids. Till I became a parent myself. Managing kids’ tantrums are without a doubt difficult situations to be in. And what makes it more challenging is that it’s often unintentional because they don’t yet have the skills to express themselves in other desired ways hence the sudden outburst. Yet sometimes we lose our cool too quickly.

Definitely, there will be more tantrums coming my way as the boy grows up. During those moments of “why oh why!”, I hope to remind myself to: take a deep breathe, think happy stuff, nurture the positivity out of the situation and say OHMMMMMMMMM.But if all fails, at least I tried!

Meanwhile, what made my day today was seeing my little fella opening his eyes and putting his arms around me the moment I was home. He’s getting soooo good at tugging those heartstrings.

These days, I rarely sling buttery soft leather bags I used to grow a collection of.

Instead, my ‘IT bag’ is a machine-washable ju-ju-be diaper bag (gifted from the SIL) which doubles up as my everyday bag simply because it’s so lightweight, functional and combos up well with babies’ (psst: no needing to be upset that little fella’s splatter from lunch might permanently stain the bag since a wipe is all it takes to get it back to stain-free status).

I get nagged by the Bo whenever he volunteers to help me pack the bag on some weekends. On how messy I am. On how many nonsensical, unnecessary stuff is in there. But really, take a look..it’s not THAT bad, ain’t it?

In random order:

1. Ju-ju-be Be All messenger diaper bag + diaper changing pad

2. Owl printed wet bag to contain diapers, diaper cream, a hanky, extra clothes for the little fella

3. Socks for the impromptu visits to indoor playgrounds/play gyms which happens ever so often

4. Pacifier clip & cover – with a missing pacifier. I’ve trying to wean him off these days (to no success yet) and so I just couldn’t be bothered to remove these items out.

5. iPhone

6. 7-yr old Coach keypouch. Love how it can contain a bunch of keys nicely without bulging.

7. Pack of tissue. Not for choping seats of course. But good to have, just in case you suddenly noticed that the toilet roll holder next to you in a public toilet is…empty.

8. Container of the little man’s snacks. A must-have.

9. Breath spray, so that I can indulge in my garlicky chicken rice whenever I like without worrying that the person I talk to next is going to faint from holding his/her’s breath.

10. Burt’s Bee lip balm for my easily chapped lips.

11. Ezlink card for public transportation needs

12. YSL card holder gift from the Bo for my ever-growing stash of membership cards since becoming a mom. Why can’t retailers just tag our memberships to our mobile or ID numbers instead.

13. BabyGanics Foaming Hand Sanitizier, because other moms would give me cold stares if I didn’t sanitize my hands each time before carrying baby. Okay, I’m joking. This was one of the products that was highly recommended and it was really cheap buying in bulk at iHerb.com (I still have my stash from my previous purchase during 2nd trimester).

14. A BV Spring edition wallet which was a wedding anniversary gift from the Bo 4 years ago.

linking up with

I didn’t celebrate my first Mother’s Day last year because sneaking in as much rest in between feeding/washing/cleaning/latching/pumping duties & figuring out our newborn took precedence over everything else.

Regrettably, it was also the first time that I didn’t celebrate it with my mom like we always do – be it a hug & a kiss or bonding over a simple meal. All she got was a text message about how exhausted I was about waking up several times through the night followed by a “Happy Mother’s Day to you too!”. I know, what a self-centered idiot, right? But of course I made up for it as soon as I realized that the world didn’t just revolved around my newly minted “mom” status.

And mom being the kind, generous, loving lady that she’s always been was quick to forgive & forget about it (she wasn’t even angry at her ill-mannered daughter) and even asked how else she could help to ease our tensions in addition to the moral & physical help that she was already contributing.

Our moms are always the best in our eyes and mine is no exception.

“You’re taking me for granted!”, she used to say in a shaken voice during one of those adolescent-induced arguments. Deep down inside, somewhere somehow, after calming down, I knew she was right.

Since my earliest memory as a child, I often assumed that my mom rather pursue her career than enjoy spending time with me. I was angry that my other classmates could boast that their mom stayed at home with them while I was sent to my grandma’s place to be looked during the day. I was angry that my mom had to ask her younger brother (who was staying at my grandma’s then) to help me with/check my homework because she had to work till late again. I was angry that she had to attend night classes instead of hearing about my day at school. I was angry that she wasn’t there to pick me up from school like my other classmates’ moms, except when I was ill and am sent home.

I was quite the troubled child. I had so many questions that I didn’t get the answers to. But thankfully my frustrations were also short-lived. When it came to weekends or days off or end of a long day, mom was 200% mine and would listen earnestly to what I had to share.

And it wasn’t till I realized that my dad couldn’t be bothered whether he had a family or not to care for, that mom was busy making ends meet all along. In addition to being both mom & dad. In addition to needing to soothe my often-emo temperament on having a dysfunctional family. In addition to making sure I didn’t feel shortchanged in any way when it came to education & learning. In addition to dealing with my constant question of why I didn’t have any sibling(s) (because it was too costly as much as she would have loved to).

As sole bread winner , she took on night classes & sit for exams in order to be considered for a better job position (which demanded for a higher salary naturally), and took on extra jobs. And blessed her/us abundantly, the Lord graciously did.

Recently mom shared that the reason why she continues to pamper both me & the bub by sponsoring some fun classes for us to enjoy, and is so supportive of me being a SAHM regardless how temporary is because she wants me to have the opportunity she never had. My eyes welled up in tears of gratitude as I heard this. I now know why her face lights up like a million watts every time she sees the chungkin. She always looks forward to seeing him, hearing about him, seeing photos/videos of him, and would make her way to see him right after work 3-4 times a week even if it was only for 20-30mins before his sleep time. And she relishes these moments spent with him. Even managed to single-handedly take him to an outing to Hokey Pokey recently because she knew how much he’d love cruising around freely.

She loves & pampers the chungkin a lot – sometimes to fault but yet I know that it’s because she never had the chance to experience anything more than a “weekend mom” with me. And I relent.

So even though I’ve been a mom for about over a year, Mother’s Day to me is & will always be about celebrating the wonderful lady that holds a very special place in my heart. The lady that continues to give me immensed strength, love and positivity during my down days, even when she’s having one herself. The lady who never fails to pick up a cue on my moods no matter how hard I try to hide. The lady whom I used to talk about my BGR woes freely with. The lady with the smile. The lady who treats her son-in-law like her very own. The lady whom most of her team colleagues often endear her as “mama”.

You get the drift. My momma & me, we’re more than BFF-tight. :)

Linking up with:

My little man wasn’t the only one who turned ONE in March.

Singapore Mom Bloggers, this awesome community of local moms + blogs & shares their parenting tips, stories & experiences with so much passion (and I’ve been blessed to be part of that community for the past year) turned ONE too!

And to celebrate, we were invited to a style workshop by Style Essence - founded by  fellow mommy blogger, Flo Mummy

I was really excited to attend this event because…

1) ever since being introduced to the importance of personal grooming/image over a decade ago during one of the ex-company’s “staff workshops”, I’ve always been a sucker believer in looking decent/presentable as much as possible whenever out of the house (it also reaffirmed mom’s nagging during my baggy-jeans-and-tees-getup phase :p)

2) the ex-job taught & showed me how first impressions played a big role in representing one’s self

3) since becoming mom, I’ve (unfortunately) been gently nudged by closed friends that it’s okay to dress up even if it’s just for fun (short of saying, can you wear anything else besides your comfy tees & shorts which we are always seeing you in since you became a mom?)

4) I miss my pre-preggy & preggy effort-to-put-on-a-dress-or-some-accessories-or-even-some-lipgloss self

5) some me-time to pamper oneself  is always a good thing right?

6) I definitely wanted to learn the tricks to looking effortlessly stylish, without much effort of course (because I’ve not been successful in being able to get ready without needing to attend to the bub once)

7) finally meeting the moms behind those blogs that I frequent? How cool was that!

I didn’t quite know what to expect prior to arriving at the venue since the last time I attended a “beauty workshop” organized by the ex-co, it felt like one of those parenthood seminars where one sits among a sea of audience, try to take notes quickly before the next slide jumps in, wonders what’s for tea break and try not to fall asleep for most of the time.

But this session, it was so engaging & interactive that I didn’t even have time to do anything else apart from paying attention.

Before the workshop started, I was told to get my measurements taken to find out what body shape I belonged to and was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was an ‘hourglass’. Hah!!!!!! Which meant that I’ve finally lost some of ‘em stubborn pregnancy weight and for the first time, I have an obvious waist!, even if it’s not necessarily a small one. (unimportant tidbit: I used to be a ‘pear’ shape and then was probably a ‘column’ shape which I was told is quite common among new moms).

{we were each given a card of our current body shape.

I love the thoughtful illustrations on what clothes will flatter this bodyshape at a glance!

Doesn’t it make shopping for/trying on clothes that much easier?}

After everyone had an understanding of which body shape we had, the stylemeister herself, Flo mommy commenced the session.

I enjoyed how natural & witty she was in her delivery & how she connected with us. Needless to say there were no awkward silences (except when we were all hard at work during our hands-on segment) during the entire session.

{Flo kicking off the session by thanking SMB’s founder and co-organizer of this lovely workshop, Rachel with a token}

I’ve recently reignited my love for colours (been purchasing shades of yellow & blue for myself and orange for the little man) in my wardrobe again (is it an age thing as they say?) since motherhood (they say, black is not a colour :( ), so when Flo showed us what some colours meant, I couldn’t be more pleased with those purchases.

{what colors are you usually dressed in?}

Do you sometimes wonder why someone comments that you look tired when if you’ve had a good night’s rest or compliment that you are looking really good even if you didn’t do different from your usual? Or can’t decide between a blue or orange top because they both look fabulous on you but you want to pick out the better of the two? That’s because some of us suit either “warm” or “cool” tones (ignoring the fact that there are also the lucky ones who can take either tones!)

And depending on which tone you suit better, these are some colour guidelines to help you look your best!

{And so I found out I’m a “cool” tone. No wonder everyone kept asking if I slept enough whenever I wore a brown dress to work}

But of course how would you know whether you’re a warm or cool? Here’s a simple test Flo did for us: throw on a “warm” and “cool” coloured shawl (in this test we did brown vs. black) and ask an audience of closed and honest friends which colour lets you look your best. (psst: if you don’t have both warm & cool shades in your wardrobe, you can do your ‘test’ at the shop with your friends too, try not to be alone with pushy salespeople who just want to make a sale)

{Flo asking which colour looks better on Evelyn}

We were then shown hair styles that suit the various face shapes. I enjoyed this segment because I’ve been contemplating chopping off my hair for a long while now because I was getting bored with it (been wearing the same hairstyle for a long times now) and I’ve been wanting to attempt a bob but wasn’t sure if I could carry it off because the last I had short hair was when I was 12 years old and the husband laughed (at the photo on my IC) and said short hair made me looked like a boy.

Flo also kept us abreast with the latest trends for the various face & body shapes and taught us a tip which I’ve been wanting to know…how to find that perfect shade of foundation! I rarely put on foundation unless the occasion calls for it but it was interesting & startling to realize that I’ve been taken for a ride during those times I was purchasing a foundation when the salesperson merely smeared various shades on my cheek, saying all 3 shades suit me. Not cool!

{and to think those times I applied foundation, I did it wrongly. That probably explain the random breakouts}

Next segment was exciting! It was time to get our hands-on experience and as much as I was reluctant to strip my face of the concealer and powder which I’ve been  hiding my bare complexion beneath since I left home, I couldn’t be more thankful for learning the correct way of washing my face and applying make-up.

{removing the layers of undereye concealer I piled on using Mary Kay eye makeup remover}

So apparently my method of plastering my filled-with-facial-cleanser palms to my entire face and just rubbing and splashing water has been wrong. There’s a reason why facial therapists dot your face with facial cleansers and gently massage them in using their third & fourth finger. Because that’s the correct way. And if you’re facial-deprived like myself, this is definitely one handy tip to achieving a healthy looking complexion without needing to trade an hour at facial salon. It did sound bothersome to me initially but I got to admit, a week into reminding myself to wash my face using this new method and I do feel the face is a lot cleaner than just slabbing foam and rubbing it in hoping that all grime gets washed away.

After cleansing, we were given a sample of the Botanical Effects Mask to try on. I was rather bummed when we were told to apply to only half of our face so that we could see the immediate benefits because I really liked using this product, though admittedly, comparing the results before & after side by side was definitely more convincing than a mental comparison of a before and after.

{while waiting for our masks to do its magic. With the cousin}

{guess which side of my face felt more taut?}

Next, it was hands-on make up time! Flo did a demo on Pauline showing us the correct method for makeup application. Tip from Flo: always remember to apply sunscreen  and apply it sideways so that it doesn’t clog up your pores.

I’ve always wanted to practice how to do proper make-up apart from my usual 4-step routine: concealer + powder to set + blush + mascara and it was here that I got to dabble with some shades of eye shadow & lip colours under the guidance of a pro!

{choices & more choices}

And this was my DIY makeover:

{ah-soh no more!}

NOW, the highlight of this workshop? Remember when I mentioned earlier that I was somewhat bored of the long hair especially now that I was more aware of my face shape and body shape, and what would suit it? I asked Flo for suggestions and without hesitation, together with the rest of the moms present, I was encouraged to cut a short bob. These mamas could obviously read my mind on wanting a chop it off and wanting a bob. But what convinced me to step into a hair salon next was how they said it – full of camaraderie, candidness, the willingness to help each other up our style essence quotient.

And so I did the deed. 

{I love it}

GIVEAWAY TIME! – 3 MAKEOVER WORKSHOP WITH STYLE ESSENCE PASSES (worth $150 each) TO BE GIVEN AWAY! 

I have 3 makeover workshop passes with Style Essence (worth $150 each) to give away. Please leave me a comment (with your name & email) and state why you would like to win it. Winners will be picked randomly and will be contacted by Style Essence.

Closing date: 14 April 2013, Sunday at midnight.

 RESULTS OF GIVEAWAY: 

Congratulations to Chor Ee, Serene Seah & Tiredmummy for winning the makeover workshop passes! Style Essence will be contact with you shortly :) Do update me on your “makeovers”! 

P/s: Lynn, was informed that you won the giveaway in another blog giveaway hence the re-draw. :)

The little chungkin turned ONE on Saturday, over the long Easter weekend. Hip hip hooray!!!

To celebrate, we threw a lovely themed party in the comfort of our home from one of his (and mine) favourite books – THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR – and invited as many friends (another great excuse to see our friends) to share our joy of being parents for a year!

We had so much fun! 

As co-host, I didn’t have any hands or time to snap as many photos as I would have liked, so here’s some teaser snaps taken during the preps till I get my hands on more decent photos of party day.

{the centrepiece was a simple DIY caterpillar that was put together on the eve of the party}

{personalized take home favour bags}

{at my most art + craft mode yet}

{our birthday gift to Liam – a book filled with memories and moments of his first year}

{on birthday morning}

More details & visuals of the birthday party on the blog, soon!

Moments ago, my son, the adventure wanderer fell from some stairs with his head banged onto the cold hard marble. He cried what seemed to be the longest, saddest, loudest in a while and as I hugged him in comfort, soothe the bump on the head, I replayed the scene in my head and knew that it could have been prevented if I had just been a little more watchful.

I haven’t been much of a cheery self lately and it would be such a lame excuse to pin the blame on ‘having too much on my mind’ for the accident that just happened. But of late his too-rapid growth spurt on being the fastest crawler in the household coupled with desire to always get on the floor and be on the move, knocking into things while cruising; and me needing to contain him when we’re out at cafes because he can’t sit still now that he knows there’s more to babyhood than sitting on mama’s lap or in a stationary pram while she sips her cuppa caffeine HAS BEEN TAD BIT MUCH TO HANDLE [mental note to self: an active, noisy & bubbly nature is always a good thing].

Unless we’re at kids-safe playgrounds/play gyms where it’s practically haven for the active crawler, which also happens to be the places I’ve been frequenting of late (another post on it, when time permits!).

But a baby is what I cried, pleaded, asked, seek, wrote on a wishing tree for, and striving to be the best mom I can be to this precious child together through the good, bad, trying, tough, moments was my solemn promise. So when I knew that an accident could have been prevented if I had just concentrated 200% on the kid instead of trying to multitask some me-time & fiddle with the evil-social-apps-on-the-phone which could obviously wait, I knew it was sign that I’m starting to take the life before me for granted. Which feels horrible because being granted the opportunity to watch my son grow for the past year has been a privilege.

So while I’ve been reminded countless times to put away the phone when with Liam (to which I say, ya-ya, will do), now’s definitely time to walk the talk and be the social app recluse when I am with my spirited little darling till he can walk and climb down stairs/ledges/steps properly without tumbling.

Granted boys will be boys and falls and bruises will be all part of growing up but not on my watch if I can prevent it. And really, I don’t want to be encouraging the little fella to do his “free-fall from baby gate which is attached on the stairs” stunt hoping someone will always be able to catch him in time. Too stressful to always be monitoring for unusual behaviour when I can use all that energy positively.

So March came in like a lion (urgh, go away stormy weathers!) and with it a slew of parties to attend. Hullo 1-year-olds!!!

Our weekends in March have been/are filled with birthday parties to attend, with the last weekend of March seeing 3 birthday parties back to back – Friday/Saturday (Ours!)/Sunday. Woohoo!

Not that I’m complaining.

I love parties! I love food! I love cake! I love good fun! I love shopping for presents! I love celebrations!

There’s something so joyous in the air that makes you want to giggle & smile at everything/everyone you see. Plus everyone seems to look absolutely gorgeous in photos too.

The recent birthday parties that we attended left me gobsmacked. Held at gorgeous hotel ballrooms & cozy cafes coupled with bouncy castle, professional photographers, delectable dessert (spread) tables, balloon sculpting, face painting…the whole nine yards, it succeeded in making me feel tad cheapskate and somewhat ashamed that we’ll be having little man’s big 1 celebration at home with DIY and home-baked/home-cooked goods to boot (20 more days to go, whose counting?)

Envious? Perhaps.

Impending stress? Definitely.

Should I be concerned? Probably not.

I’ve been so laid-back about the little fella’s upcoming laid-back birthday party that I don’t know whether to feel relief or guilty for not doing more than I should.

I’m neither freaking out that there’s slightly over 2 weeks left to go nor getting stressed nor pulling my hair out as I was during while planning for THE wedding (motherhood does wonders, doesn’t it? :p).

I’m not burning late nights (yet) sorting out photos from birth till present, armed with craft glue to fill his keepsake scrapbook (which I probably won’t be doing …after the last time I almost cried after doing 3 *beautiful* scrap frames back to back in 2 nights).

I’m not second guessing myself on a change of venue as tempting as it is especially after being informed of an ever-expanding guest list (whatever happened to keeping it simple & cozy).

I’m not attempting to make it more ostentatious than it is because…once it starts, it never really stops?

But what I do know is that I’m slowly but surely planning the most awesome birthday party that I can for my soon to be 1-yr-old. And that I have the help of lovely friends who have volunteered to help me put it together. And we’re going to boogie.

For all the slackness that I’ve been at this blog since motherhood (the best excuse yet?), I tell myself to at least document the little man’s monthly milestones because right after this month, he’s going to turn 1.

And unless I can convince myself to sacrifice reading/loo/breather time for a 13 months and beyond monthly milestone updates (watch this space, I just might have the inspiration and motivation to do so) consistently – I do know many moms who just stopped keeping track of how many months their babies are after 18 months and then it goes 1 1/2 years, 2 years, 3 years, just saying – I reckon that I had better start savoring every thought that I’m about to blog for keeps because you know what they say after they’re 1. They’re babies no more. *wails*

The days leading up to little man’s 11 months have been considerably challenging. Just yesterday I felt awful for almost wanting to give the fella a gentle spanking (“gentle” to make myself feel wee bit better) for scratching my face, pulling my hair, smacking my head while we were in a cab all because he wanted to ransack everything out of the diaper bag TWICE. And of course who could blame him, since I gave in the first round thinking that it’d be suffice to satisfy that curiosity of “what’s in the bag” but of course kids being kids…we all know how they’re such creatures of habit/repetition/routine…no?!

But I didn’t.

Instead I held him firmly within my arms. He kicked up a fuss along with some tears before calming down. I did my best to explain to him why he couldn’t do what he wanted to in a moving vehicle especially and I hope he understood. He then buried his head into my shoulders for the rest of the journey.

Some of the YMs consoled me by saying it (the urge to spank) was normal and that some had started. In moments like these, I’m thankful for a always-there support group who doesn’t make me feel like a monster of a mom.

At play nest recently, he’s been either trying to crawl out of class or onto the teacher’s lap. I get this crawling thing, especially since I’ve been encouraging him to crawl since the day he lifted his butt and went all fours, that he now has this innate amount of energy to just crawl whenever he can especially on spacious grounds such as play gyms and such but boy; where are those days when taking a moment to sit was just as interesting as well? Too fleeting.

Coincidentally, grandmama & papa both took time off work this week to accompany Liam in the various music and play classes. It was interesting to observe the way he reacted when he was aware of their presence. With grandmama at music class, he was “controlled” with his movements – hearty laughter inclusive, and with papa at play nest the feedback  was that he would sit quietly on daddy’s lap (note: daddy did not restrain him in any way) and then when it was time to do stuff like art, he would just follow along. None of the Dora-the-explorer, loud, quirky actions mid class, big giggles nonsense that was expected of him.

His toy of the moment is the Fisher Price activity table and that’s because hearing mandarin (from the toy) tickles him every time. But along with loving his toy, he’s grown tad bit possessive that whenever he spots a similar toy in one of his playdate’s homes, he assumes it’s his and almost always baby-pushes another baby into backing away from the toy. Not into sharing I suppose. :\

He’s still the good eater that he’s been. And for that I’m thankful that I don’t have to come up with too many antics when it comes to getting the little one to chomp down his food, with the exception of days when I get too carried away with morning snacks and give him one too many at an hour too late. And as with most babies, eating off mama’s plate outside is always such a treat so on those rare occasions, his mouth opens even wider like the way I open mine for delish desserts. And to mark 11 months today, the chungkin had mouthfuls of warm & fluffy Japanese rice from my bowl.

“Papapapapa” and “Mam mam mamama” continue to be music to the ears (read: I don’t care if he’s referring to food and not me) in the household and the clever little one has since learnt to use it sparingly. Mainly for moments when he wants to be out of the cot “mam mam mamamama”, wants to be fed a snack “papapapapapa”, wants to be off the changing table “mamam..papapa….mamamam mam”. Though sometimes it gets peppered with tears for added drama especially during desperado moments like “mam mam mamamamama” + flowing tears + pout for a request to be out of the pram only to be ensued with a wide grin and a cheeky laugh. Evidently, we’ve been had. Willing parties here, of course.

There’s so much more to say, yet words alone deny these priceless moments their deserved justice. And while I still yearn to wear some heels, put on a nice work dress, hang some beautiful accessories on my ears and neck occasionally and spend some disposable income brashly; being able to watch Liam grow these past 11 months have been a huge blessing.

He’s changed our lives better than we’d imagined. And if I had to, I’d choose  him over work over and over again. It hasn’t been easy on my loved ones. The Bo has been working hard day in and out, and my mom has been so giving that she sacrifices her little luxuries to pamper her grandson. She’s been utterly supportive in me staying home to watch my son grow, giving me the opportunity that she was denied of back then when my existence needed her to start bringing home the bacon as well. For that, I’m always grateful. I don’t even dare imagine how much sobbing I’m going to do the day I get back to the mill and start contributing my share of funds again.

But that’s worries for another hopefully distant day.

Happy 11 months dude. We love you so so so so much. 

I’m not proud of this series at all.

But I figured if it freaked & affected me that much, I ought to document it down. You know, just in case I need a mental walk down memory lane for when #2 comes, or if some friend gets a similar panic attack as much as I did then I’d be able to console her on how she must be feeling!

Though all I’m really hoping is that some weeks later, I’d be re-reading this post and laughing in relief (phew, nothing happened). Just as I did recently with this post. 

***

This morning, we decided to soak in some sun, fun & take photos at the Botanic Gardens. The Bo & I haven’t been there to explore its grounds since our teens  - unless you consider walking from car park to Halia and back.  And now that we have a kid, it made sense to attempt a “family outing” to the gardens/park.

We were blessed with lovely weather. The sun wasn’t too scorched, passing clouds provided hints of shade.

The little man was all excited seeing dogs, swans in the lake, little kids running amok green pastures.

We found a nice spot just below a huge tree and decided to park ourselves to give the little crawler some roaming space (by this point he was showing his displeasure in being cooped up in the pram or in one of our arms).

And more than roam the little one did. Soon little man’s hands were dusted with dirt, soil & grime. The protective dad asked if we should wipe his hands right away, and guess what nature-mom-wannabe-for-the-morning replied? “Don’t worry about it! He’s going to soil those hands again. Might as well just wash them later on”

<there might have been some snide undertones along the lines of: I hang out with the boy everyday, I would know better that he can handle grimy hands and not be silly enough to put them into his mouth right, don’t be so paranoid LAH>

But of course being the surprise guest that murphy always is…

THE LITTLE ONE SUDDENLY GOT BORED OF EXPLORING, LOOKED AT HIS HANDS AND PROCEEDED TO LICK ALL THAT WERE IN THEIR HANDS ALL IN A SPAN OF 30 SECONDS or before I could say STOP (whichever is faster).

You can only imagine what happened next.

I screamed, pulled Liam’s hands out.

He froze in shock literally – his mouth did not move nor close, which was a good thing – as I used my hand to clam on to his cheeks to make the mouth open

I quickly removed all the big bits that were visibly on the tongue. Liam got annoyed and started to scream and the same time.

The Bo then took a wipe, grumbled how I did not clean out ALL the dirt (wow, bionic eyes?) and then took a swipe on little man’s tongue before showing me “you see!” the remnants.

I then took another wipe and swipe the little tongue for good measure and by now Liam was in tears.

And of course I got a earful from the Bo after that…”why didn’t you anticipate”, “how couldn’t you see it coming”, “arghhhhh we should have slept in this morning”, “this is how HFMD starts…”

It was understatedly dreadful, the aftermath of the Liam-eating-soil incident and being on the receiving end of papa’s endless rants (thankfully he rarely does this) . How was I to know! And why wasn’t I freaking out as crazily as papa! I definitely didn’t want to be the cause of soiling Liam’s clean slate of not falling sick since birth yet.

During moments as such, thank goodness for FB and rally of supporters who promptly left comments. It definitely did wonders in making me feel better…till at least the Bo’s fury was iced.

EDIT as of 26 Feb 2013: After monitoring 9 poops since the incident (all looked rather normal to me), looking out for rashes (none appeared), abnormal behaviour (hyper and manja as ever) and praying hard that nothing poisonous or baby-damaging went in, so far so good for now. *fingers crossed till he turns 1*

These days, I’ve been trading time to blog/surf/online shop for some birthday planning which includes the oven and some flour. I’m thrilled to be planning a first DIY kids birthday party for my very own, and am finally getting started after a huge push via birthday invites from kids whose parties are weeks after the chungkin’s.

Procrastinator, I can be no more. Although it’s nothing fancy, just a cozy homey affair to celebrate chungkin’s first year old milestone, an excuse to go all crazy with the photo-taking and create more wonderful memories.

For now, before CNY ends…just wanted to post some recent snaps of the little dude to encapsulate his current phrase of being such a little adrenalin-junkie, being foul tempered as he wish (we’re addressing this now), and grown-up at the same time…which sometimes leaves me bewildered.

{I heart papa & son moments}

{on the 3rd day of CNY}

{family}

{strolling with godmama}

{first time on the monkey bar. first time my heart dropped. yet he enjoyed his firsts, and kept wanting more}

{and then it was swing time which he totally enjoyed too}

{another papa, son moment where they just “nua” or dazed…}

{papa & son take 3}

{poo face mid meal. he’s so going to love me for posting this one up}

{ah boys to men part 3}

{ching chong boys}

{babies in a row}

Hours ago, the chungkin swallowed *gulp* a piece of laminated tag which had adhesive on it much to my horror.

I kicked myself hard, for choosing to snooze in between while letting him play with his toy and books on his own and the next I knew, I saw a laminated tag sitting on the bed with a portion of it chewed off.

I did the next possible action that was running through my head – lie the boy down, forced opened his mouth hoping to find any bits of white paper with adhesive and attempt to take it out of the mouth but all I got was disgruntled boy who just wanted to continue playing.

I felt sick to the stomach. “What had I done?!” I kept berating myself as I looked around the rest of the cot hoping that the chewed off bit was lying in some corner.

I googled of course, but that didn’t make me feel any better reading that babies from all other parts of the world swallowed mainly tissues and paper but no adhesive of any sort was mentioned.

And then I had to do the next best thing – LET IT GO and JUST MONITOR.

“It happens”, another mom comforted me.

The cousin also snapped me out of it by reassuring that as long as he’s fine, that was the most important. She’s right. Maybe him being all hyper earlier wasn’t from whatever remnants of glue but from uhm…his active growing nature.

And as other parents who have ‘been there’ share, it gets worse when they hit toddlerhood. The things they eat, stuff into their ears and nose – some without us even knowing –  like small sparkly stickers, lego, glitter stars etc.

It’s all part of the “kids will be kids” thing ain’t it?!

The chungkin wasn’t exactly born with a head full of luscious hair that parents could shout about or visitors could exclaim about (i.e.: “look that all that hair!!!”).

We were just thankful that he had some, and even then we were never fans of shaving it all off (what if it takes forever to grow even just a little back?!?!?) during his first or fourth month into the world.

Then one day after he turned 6 months old, suddenly more & more hair started to appear. Friends started to noticed the fuller head of hair and asked if we had done any baby “yun nam” hair treatment of sorts (jokingly of course, but no we’re not neurotic parents).

Soon his hair started to have a character of its own too. There were hardly any bad hair days (then again, bubs look cute even with bad hair days) and he had hair that was “so niiice!” as others would describe it that we were often asked if we had brought him to the hair dresser’s recently. *proud mama moment about son’s au naturale hair style*

Till few days ago his long side burns were starting to bug us when we saw how they were covering top of his ears, making him look like a little hobbit.

The Bo happened to be on leave (I knew I couldn’t do this alone from witnessing other babies just scream at the sight of the scissors) and so a trim for little man was scheduled.

And it happened. All so quickly.

The chungkin sat on a booster seat so still and quiet from start to finish that I was gobsmacked.

There were no tears, no struggles, no screams, no fusses. No soothing needed. NONE OF WHAT I HAD PREPARED MYSELF FOR.

My 10-month-old was a champ at his first hair cut.