Times like these, I wished that time, money and a wedding planner were within reach. Or that if we sat down and discussed our expectations and desired outcome properly at an early stage, we may have saved on tedious tasks such as segregating & accomodating guests into the day and night events, resulting in having to make 2 seperate invitation cards when the money could be put to better use such as catering, flowers, entertainment? $1k worth just on printing alone, excluding materials, was definitely not a small sum.

Thankfully, my bunch of trusty mates came to my aid last night, sensing I was nearing the peak of insanity. Knowing that I had to vent to feel better, and that Luke was busily burried with work his unreasonable client piled on him last minute, these mates did everything they could to allay my worries and anxiety.
Despite having horrible weeks at work and doing late nights, BR (Jas) called me as soon as she got off work, checked in on me and asked if I needed her company during the weekend to source for printers. Kris was an absolutely sweet too – driving down to my place at midnight (as soon as he could get off) & going thru my designs despite a really rough patch at work (I really appreciated it, #62). He even made sure I jotted down all that was discussed, and followed up with mock-ups within 12 hours turnaround! He even ticked me off, but was right: I needed to learn how to accept ‘screw-ups’.

Jas the irritant was equally helpful too, gave valuable feedback to “save” the current artwork while BFF did her lil bit of sending me darn funny emails to put a smile. ‘Neighbour’ min assured me with the many email replies that all was going to fall into place with God’s grace, while Dre was a big darling – sourcing websites after websites of pretty stuff for inspiration. And Lorene, a friend I knew about 5 years ago but lost touch with until I bumped into her at Zouk last Fri – offered her help as her wedding gift to me.

A tired and worn out me turned in at 2am, but was delighted and comforted knowing that everythign which happened in that mere 4 hours last night was God’s way of answering my pages of prayers in distress. He fed me with endless possibilities and solutions. And I had absolutely nothing to worry about.

I am now gratified. ;O)

In 2 months’, it will be the start of checking ‘married’ boxes as opposed to ‘single’ whenever I fill out forms.

I will have someone to wake up to every morning by my side regardless of bad breath, messy hair and untidy looking sleeping clothes.

Someone who will (hopefully) drop me off at the MRT station on my way to work so that I can quit run/walking like what I do every morning now.

I will finally get to wear a beautifully crafted & engraved wedding band as a symbolism of our union & love and come home to oodles of love & laughter after long days at work.

And of course, entertaining thoughts of having a family, becoming a mommy and having one more date to add to our long list of beautiful occasions to celebrate!

Till then, 2 months is all I’ve got to start pull things together. I must admit that it was some consolation reading articles that most brides procrastinate till the last 2 months before getting things done. There was even this bride who postponed her wedding thrice because she realized that she just didn’t have enough budget and time to plan her own dream wedding, and decided hire professional help in the end. I pondered on that and decided that I definitely wasn’t one who would put myself through postponing the wedding three times only because the theme wasn’t perfect enough ??? Spare me! – but the idea of moving on with the new life that awaits definitely seems more attractive than living within the circle of wedding preparations (fun to do, but ultimately you want the happily every after bit right?). I also likened the wedding to sitting for examinations, when will one ever be ready anyway?? Yes, you can be as prepared as you wish to be, but unless you have peek at the questions beforehand, you won’t know what awaits. And sometimes all you need is to just sit for the paper, give it your best (even if it means being credited for 1/2 a mark here and there for effort), and move on.

Much was achieved over the recent weekend. I hung out with my 2 buddies / bridesmaids – Et & Jas and we finally settled all the dresses – including my last minute green cocktail dress! (woohoo, I can’t wait). They were such a bundle of joy (tho I felt bad for making them wait an hour for me. sorry!!!) to hang out with that even having our measurements taken at the tailor’s, lunch, getting stuck at traffic jams or getting bitten by the mosquitoes while hanging out at Luke’s balcony was a bundle of joy! Their laughs and jokes were so infectious that it got Luke & Mum infected and talking about them for the rest of the weekend. Come this Fri, I’ll be meeting up with the Queenies for catch-up and briefing of duties and can’t wait for that to happen too – because I am confident and assured that they’ll give me their best, like they always do, at everything they attempt. :D So thank you my dear girls once again for all your efforts, which I sincerely appreciate.

SOOOO its 2 months to go.

While planning for the big day over the last few months, I kept asking myself several times during the planning process what I wanted the overall theme to be. From meeting up with various designers for the outfits and realizing that being specific for the desired outcome was IMPORTANT as opposed to using vague description like “classy & simple” (well, because I realized those definition to some designers mean a whole world of difference), I nearly ruined my cheongsam (aka. the evening gown) when a very fickle me kept contradicting on what I wanted. First I would say I wanted a ‘traditional yet westernized with a twist (huh??)’, next I would say ‘modern yet retain old Shanghai charm’, it was disastrous! And when I finally realized what I really wanted (and not just a combination snapshot of every damn cheongsam I saw), I was determined to stick to that all the way.

It wasn’t till 2-weeks ago that I started going full-steam on the wedding preps, ensuring that I met and spoke to the necessary people involved in making the Big day a special one – after being disappointed by my lackluster attitude.
As I sat myself through a list of to-dos, realistic expectations also started to surface. Luke & myself never had a thorough discussion of what we wanted in a wedding, except that we wanted it to be happy, memorable and relaxed. Who didn’t? But even that came with a realistic price. Things weren’t just going to work out on their own. And I came to terms that I had to do something about it instead of just talking if there was a desired outcome.

Soon it boiled down to details. No surprise that I was the more difficult one, while Luke simply went with the flow – it didn’t matter as much to him if the flowers or the invitation cards color scheme didn’t match. He was in for a pleasant surprise though, when I started presenting him various designs of our wedding invitation cards within the week with the different colour schemes, until we found a ‘common ground’ in blooms & butterflies – which I felt represented us aptly – me and the whimsical garden theme, and him with the laidback, vintage color combi scheme of apple-green and creamy-peach. He also offered to help in any way he could thereafter, calling me twice a day just to check on my mood progress, or making a point to go shoe shopping and giving his point-of-view on some of the cocktail dresses, just so that I knew he cared. At least he was trying. :D

We went to have a look-see at the church venue and met up with those involved over the weekend. While I was tad disappointed with the many and messy requirements to adhere to, including not being able to source for our own professional florist and leaving it to the hands of assigned volunteers (brrr!) who was on the complete opposite plane of thoughts during the discussion of what we wanted, or having to speak to different parties for the same job? I had to keep in mind that the challenge was to work within our means, and rely on my trusted troop to oversee and ensure that everything was going as planned since I wouldn’t have a chance to see if until the WALK DOWN THE AISLE (jitters, jitters). It would have been ideal to solemnize near an ocean or a ‘garden of eden’ replica…but that’s not our wedding story to tell.

My 1st bridal gown fitting went absolutely well today, apart from the creases I made on the bustier with my fat tummy – which I am working on reducing, Kenji said there wasn’t a need to alter it yet, since most brides do lose weight nearer to the day. He did assure me that he would loosen the corset if it was still tight by the 2nd fitting, and I was pleased with managing the 3.5 inch heels which meant that the lace had to be altered to fall longer, nearer to the floor. It was tempting to look around and see the many new pieces that had emerged since my last visit to the shop a few months ago – but I did my best to stay focus and satisfied with my gown.

The next 2 months is not going to be an easy ride, but I’m quite sure it’ll pass like a flash of light with all the busy activities. And yes, I will do my best to enjoy the process. Easier said than done, but I’ll try.