I’ve been feeling guilty about being impatient with the arrival of the little man for the past 2 nights and I’m glad to say that as of this afternoon, I’m back to being the mom (to-be) that will just patiently wait for him to make his grand entrance when he is ready.

It has been frustrating, trying to decipher all sorts of aches, pains, cramps in the last 2 nights that have crept my way – wondering if any of those symptoms were ‘it’. But after getting back on the reading track today and going through one of my pregnancy books earlier, I finally understood that if any of those were indeed signs of labour, it was most probably the onset of early labour which should be taken nice & slow anyway (stage 2 & 3 being the more active, pain-intensive phases). Besides, knowing that I will be placed in the observation ward (and sharing room space with 3 other preggers who may groan, moan, complain, scream around you anytime) until active labour or dilation of 4-5cm kicks in isn’t how I would like to spend my last moments waiting to deliver, especially since I intend to maintain a calm, breathing pattern as much as possible throughout labour. And with home being a 7-10 minutes drive to the hospital, I might just be more comfy just getting through stage 1 in a familiar environment.

Perhaps the lack of going out, gynae commenting how his other early apr EDD patients are starting to graduate during the last visit, combined with my nesting mode slowly fizzling have been catalysts for getting testy with the waiting game but at the end of the day, I know and trust that God’s timing for us will be the best.

Meanwhile, I just had a very beautiful connection with the bub while rubbing in some stretch mark cream after the shower. I felt the little one’s feet at the top left of my belly before he quickly moved it away as I firmed my palm on that same spot. It was aaaaamazing.

It seems that I might be the impatient one after all.

For all the denying I’ve been giving myself that I still had some time to go before D-day, I found myself nudging & asking the little nugget last night if he would just come out already.

I had my first taste of insomnia yesterday and it was not enjoyable.

I basically woke up at 3am+ to take my first pee after falling into slumber, only to find myself tossing & turning, wide awake and noticing a lot of movements from the little man. My pelvic region was hurting badly and I was drifting in and out of a numb sensation which would overtake almost half of the belly only to subside the moment I shifted my sleeping position and then back again. I didn’t want to excite myself  nor wake the Bo up unnecessarily so till 5am+, my mind was on hyper active mode as I ran through outstanding tasks to do for the day, what I should wear to the hospital, wondered if I should google what constituted signs of contractions while at the same time just hoping for either a bloody show or a burst in the water bag. I finally did fall back asleep for a short while (thank goodness!) only to be woken up at 7am by baby movements and dull aches.

So far, the aches/discomfort has been manageable so I supposed that might just have been really bad Braxton Hicks.

What I do hope is that this cycle of insomnia won’t come visiting me tonight again because feeling zombified due to an exhausted body but alert mind is making me feel really horrible right now.

So, I’m 37 weeks + 3 as of today and quite honestly I’m not as mentally prepared as I thought I would be.

Everything is almost done (except for cot linen, urgh!), documents are in placed (admission documents from the gynae received yesterday), things packed, confinement herbs bought yet I still feel like I’m missing something.

For the first time in countless visits with the gynae yesterday, I didn’t try to wrangle for a shorter gap between visits when he said “see you in 2 weeks”. I would well be in my 39th week by then but I suppose both of us acknowledged the possibility of our next meet taking place in the delivery suite when gynae joked about it twice saying “or see you and your ping pong (that’s how he addresses baby chungkin) in delivery next week? Ha Ha”.

I trust this gynae’s judgement quite a bit so even when he tried to make it sound a little jokingly the 2nd time, after seeing my face freeze a little (I’ve got a lousy poker face) the first time he mentioned it, I knew I had to be prepared.

I’ve also been limiting my going out activity these few days to appease the concerned husband & my mom (mainly just to pre-natal yoga & back), and been spending lots of personal time alone catching up with my thoughts and speed reading respective breastfeeding/childcare/parenting books that I was supposed to have finished reading some 2 weeks back. And then there are moments when I do get caught up with silly trivialities such as ”what if mil interferes with how I care for baby?”, “what if there’s no breast milk?”, “what if I can’t get along with my CL?”, “what if domestic helper can’t get washing of bottles steps right?” etc. but I soon snap out of it, reminding myself there’s a bigger picture to caring, providing and bringing up a child than these little fusses and small mindedness. Just like how reading all the “good-to-read” books on parenting & breastfeeding won’t necessarily make you a better or more successful parent although it may equip you with a little more confidence to attempt things for the first time – my way of self-consolation in case I’m unable to motivate myself to read on till the end probably till labour day which will probably be out of desperation by then (since its been said that 1st time moms usually go into a longer period of labour).

But apart from these trepidations, I’ve been feeling absolutely great. I do feel a lot more lethargic than before but can still manage a good 30 minutes walk on a daily basis. I love these walks by the way, whether its just to grab lunch, coffee with someone, a snack or an excuse to get out of the house.

My close-knit group of mommy friends have also been teasing me how the little one is fully baked and that I shouldn’t deny him from coming out (which I obviously wouldn’t be able to although I don’t exactly encourage him during our mommy-son talks these days). Though it’s funny how all 4 of us may just become mommies of “Mar babies” instead of “Apr babies” – which was the group that introduced us to each other by the way. I am very happy that their darlings are going to be future play-mates for the chungkin too. Me thinks I might have just the same amount, if not more fun than little bub with them around, not to mention our common food craves, shopping addictions etc.

I absolutely love my BR. Because she’s the sort of bestie that makes you wish the world had more of, plus she’s going to be the chungkin’s godmama (which I know she’s darn stress about. Haha. Responsibilities, don’t they freak out the best in us at times?) in just a few days/weeks’ time.

We had a smashing good time catching up over some (delish) brunch at Baci Italian Cafe earlier this morning and a follow-up in the evening at my crib when she came over to help complete the finishing touches of ‘chungkin’s corner’. I did give her some ‘tough moments’ with the pasting of the decals initially, which I’d admit was not easy to do especially needing to ensure that everything was stuck as straight as possible; though kudos to BR that she managed to get the hang of it soon enough and did such a fantastic job!

Everything-chungkin looks so put together now despite the fact that we only have a corner to offer to our little bub at the moment, but just looking at it over and over again makes my heart smile so much. I know that baby chungkin is going to enjoy his little corner.

On Saturday, the Bo & I had a maternity shoot to capture the final moments of our pregnancy journey.

It was a birthday gift from a very special someone (thank you again), and while I didn’t think I would dare to bare the belly in front of the lens (I won’t even wear a bikini pre-pregnancy &  took some getting used to when I had my first glance of these preview photos) and the Bo thinking that it was probably a waste of money since he could have captured the belly using whatever photographer skills he possessed; we were glad we went ahead with it anyway because upon seeing a preview during our photos selection process after the shoot, we realized that we now had our very first set family photos captured. Encapsulating the joy, love, gratitude & blessing we have for baby chungkin #1 – as we progress from couple hood to family.

The Bo especially has never been a fan of posed portraits, which is why we never had any pre-wedding photos taken as we much prefer spontaneity instead. But seeing how he willingly agreed to have photos taken with us on Saturday, showing either his protective dad-to-be side or goofy little expressions in most of the shots made my heart beat faster & melt at the same time. He definitely looked every bit ready to be a dad as much as I think I am to be a mom.

To parenthood! … the beginning of a beautiful journey and to a smooth, healthy,  fantastic & blessed labour.

NESTING.

or least that’s what my pre-natal yoga instructor told me what my sudden burst of energy was about. She said that my nesting instincts have probably kicked in when I mentioned to her during class today that I’ve been feeling very energized of late. Like how birds gather twigs preparing their nest just prior to giving birth, this burst was my body’s way of preparing for labour and baby’s arrival.

And I guess she was right because after yoga class today, me and some girlfriends went to do some baby shopping (at the taka baby fair & at paragon) and I ended purchasing lots of things on the to-buy list, suffice to say the only things that are outstanding are: more towels for bath because a gf chided me that 2 was not enough! and a clothes rack to hang the little one’s clothes. A productive day indeed!

Meanwhile, here’s a preview of the little one’s cot companions along with the new tidy purchased today. I was obviously bored, hence the arranging of animals. (p/s: The Bo has warned me not to expand our little zoo to a safari and that all 4 of them needs to clear out once little man claims his cot, which I will of course!)

We had one of the best gynae visits today!

Firstly the wait was about 30 minutes (vs. the standard 1.5 hours or the recent 2.5 hours we’ve been subjected to for the last 2 consultations).

The gynae was in an obviously good mood, had the time to joke around, answer my questions, acceded to my early request of a strep B test (just in case I was due early, to which he assured I wouldn’t. :p) and we had a fun, longer-than-usual time seeing baby chungkin via tummy scan.

Little one’s growth slowed down a little, putting on only 0.5kg more from the previous visit which was about 3 weeks ago (currently at approx. 2.2kg) but mama here put on 1.9kg, which was really bad. Though I kind of knew that those red velvet cakes & cookies I’ve been having almost every other few days would contribute to it.

The gynae said that he was very pleased with the growth progress, and that if I maintained, labour should be fairly smooth.

And!!! we managed to get quite a clear side profile of the little one too! Although his hands were in the way again, this time covering his mouth (probably still hungry from the light curry puff lunch I had earlier).

2 more weeks my little man, to you being full term and seeing you via the scan/monitor again! Whee. We’re all getting very very very excited.

And so it seems that the pregnant friends (due Feb & Mar) whom I’ve been using as ‘benchmarks’ against my impending delivery (in approx. 2 weeks, being the earliest possible) have all popped, except for one (I’ve been constantly checking her blog for birth announcement updates) whom I know the moment she does, it’s the final moments of countdown to motherhood for me.

I was having coffee with a friend earlier today when she casually joked that my gynae might send me to the labour ward after giving me the check down there (refer to this post for reference) this Thurs, as like what happened to another friend of hers recently. I laughed (thinking: no way, I still have a bunch of things to do before little one arrives i.e.: washing of bedding sheet & going to taka baby fair!), but deep down I knew that it could be a possibility. After all, that was exactly what happened to one of the above-mentioned pregnant friends about a week back, except that she was in week 37 then (and I’m only in my 35th).

Point being that in possibly less than a month’s time, we are going from couple hood to family. This also means that I will go from pregnant -> non-pregnant, a feeling I know I am most likely to miss especially since this journey has been every bit enjoyable and wonderful from the start, albeit worrying moments in between (I’m only human & a first-time mom).

I will miss the abrupt kicks, somersaults, punches and waves little chungkin has been creating in the past months. And definitely cradling & looking at the bump. I will miss having the green-light to indulge on my cravings and being able to get away from signing on hair/beauty packages as easily as I can now. I will miss my mobility to transport the 2 of us so easily & conveniently vs. having to pack the entire house into a diaper bag.

But for every miss, I know that I will gain a joy that will fill our hearts so much that it might just explode.

Am I ready for this? Probably not! But am I going to persevere especially when it comes to breastfeeding, care taking & be as positive as I can be? Yeahhhh!!!

The BR passed me a belated present on Sunday during the Queenies meet-up. And though I was just expecting a (no pun intended) nice catch-up dinner which we’ve scheduled later this week; I was really touched when she passed me a bag full of goodies!

The cute patterned package contained a huge item for baby chungkin – a too cute growth chart (he’s already being thought of before making his appearance into the world!), a pen for me to jot down his growth progress (again, another item for the little lucky man) & an adorable tote bag for me (yay, finally something for the birthday girl). But what blew me away was the birthday card (see below) – the apt visual on it and of course the content on the inside.

Thank you BR, and I know that you are going to be one fab, hot, god-mama to the chungkin (p/s: no alcohol till 18 years old please).

Muacks!

Dear Son,

Now that we’re a few days past the 34-weeks milestone – one we’ve been told by our gynaes, friends, the internet, forums, experienced mamas as the minimal safest gestational stage to deliver – without necessarily needing you to be in nicu should you get too eager to greet the world; and also ended our last of antenatal sessions with Mrs Wong Boh Boi today (at least papa will be confident of knowing how to craddle, bathe & swaddle you like how he confidently demonstrated during the last 2 classes), I feel that I can finally say “whenever you’re ready, we are too”.

Your cot arrived & was assembled in our bedroom on Thursday (under porpor’s supervision) and just looking at it feels so incredibly surreal. Mommy has been a little slack in getting that mattress aired and your bedsheets washed & dried but don’t worry about it – daddy & porpor are very good at ensuring things get done.

Daddy has also been nagging at mommy to get her hospital bag packed – did you secretly hint to him that you might be arriving earlier than expected? :p

I hope you’ve been enjoying the recent bout of bubble tea, ice cream, red velvet cakes & good food mommy has been chomping down of late too – you must be, with all that action you display so openly whenever there’s food in the tummy.

Porpor also managed to get a good feel of your movements earlier this week while sending mommy home after shopping, and squealed in delight. Daddy loves how you react to his voice each time he bonds with you every morning & night. And me, you make me smile with your morning greetings. You, my little one, will be such a darling in the family.

It’s 3 weeks more to you being officially full-termed and between now & then, we hope to be able to get a good & decent domestic helper in and a few more things sorted out. Ideally mommy would also like to fit in some shopping from the upcoming Mothercare sale & Takashimaya Baby fairs too. So if you could wait just a little bit longer, that would be great! Besides, it would be money better spent on our first family holiday than on a prolonged stay at the nursery right? :)

Happy 34 weeks+ to both of us!

xo,
Your mom

Remember the awesome, delicious crab feasting session I had with a bunch of mamas-to-be some weeks back?

Well, today we had another gathering – this time to eat super delicious peking duck from imperial treasure . The food served was superb.

It was great catching up with everyone, and seeing every belly blossom to a 3rd-tri bump from our previous meet-up.
Can’t wait to see these ladies’ adorable bubs in tow the next time!

Imperial Treasure Super Peking Duck (Paragon)
290 Orchard Road, #05- 42/45
The Paragon, Singapore

For the first time since baby shopping started, the husband actually took an interest to my purchase!

Bo: What’s that?
Me: A diaper caddy
Bo: To contain diapers?
Me: Diapers & essentials like creams, wipes etc. during diaper change time
Bo: Oh. how much?
Me: Got it at a discount
Bo: When did you get it? How come there are new things appearing?
Me: Got it a while back, but only managed to collect it from a friend recently
Bo: Orh….

And he goes and takes a shower.