I woke up today feeling the worse I’ve ever felt since pregnancy.

Physically and emotionally.

The half dripping and blocked nose didn’t seem to go away despite taking medication last night, and in addition, I had an accompanying headache and loss of voice. It was so bad that when I called & spoke to the Bo regarding some cabling works at our house (apparently mil insisted that I went to speak to cabling guys despite hearing me struggling to speak with whatever of a voice I had left) – he asked why I sounded so bad and suggested that perhaps I pay the gynae / gp a visit to see if there was anything else they could offer to remedy this nasty bug.

And so I called my gynae’s clinic – only to have my call unanswered about 10 times and have the line engaged another 5 times and then unanswered for another 3 times. It was frustrating, not to have even one of those 13 calls answered nor acknowledged. Perhaps it was teething issues (gynae’s just set up his private practice in Jan), but it sure got me thinking what if it was a case of emergency and we couldn’t get through? Then what?

And if that wasn’t enough issues to dampen my day already – the mil insisted on telling me her thoughts over lunch (hmm, didn’t she already notice that I was struggling to even speak & breathe?). Basically she wasn’t comfortable with me using my sil’s room for CL & baby should we ever need that space during that confinement period (which is about 21 days for me) even if we had spoken to sil previously and gotten her permission. I was a little fed-up because we stressed before that we were sensitive in asking, and that the room was always here (as long as she wasn’t married out) for her use if she ever wanted to use it (and sil was perfectly agreeable to the arrangement since she stays at bf’s house like 99% of the time – 1% for the times she comes home to do some baking for bf). But well, mil mentioned something like it was still her home (yes yes, she owns part of it – I’m aware of that) and even if there was a baby, she still thinks its right not to even think of using the spare room. I had quite the mind to respond back that we weren’t ‘chasing’ sil out of the home (well if she knew how to managed the 2 dogs downstairs we will be using the spare room downstairs instead) because it irked me that just because I was an in-law and not her daughter – she could say anything however tactless to me. But I held back my tongue.

I was vulnerable – with the very nasty bug attacking me full blown, baby chungkin throwing me very abrupt kicks and the last thing I needed was to fend myself with the  whatever voice I had left. And so I accepted what was said, quickly finished up my food and went to my room.

How I wished we had a place of our own. Just the 3 of us.