I’ve never attended a baby shower before (yes, the party one throws before baby’s big arrival, not the one month celebration that most Chinese here in SG celebrates), much less a virtual one so when Elphie announced that sweet Mo was throwing her one – I knew I wanted to be a part of it.

I don’t know Elphie nor Mo personally or as much as I would like to, but slightly over 6 months (& beyond) ago, I was in a dark place.

Bo & I had been trying for a family of our own for a while and when it didn’t work out despite our next step to visit gynaes, REs, go for various tests and still be told that ‘nothing was wrong’ and that we were ‘medically fertile’; we were at a loss. I always thought becoming a mom was going to be as natural as breathing (obviously I was naive) and when we were faced with one of life’s biggest curve balls, we were stumped.

Bo did his best at being the strong pillar of support a husband he could be whenever his optimism was crushed by my monthly affirmation, and each time I came out of the loo crying, I could see him fight back tears, consoling & hugging me that everything was going to be alright; that our time to become parents will eventually come. But a husband with a constantly stressed-laden workload strapped to his back can only do so much. And for all that he was going through at the workplace just so he could provide comfortably for the family and also allow me to take that cliche ‘relax & it will happen’ advice the doctors kept dishing to us when I finally decided to quit my job; I didn’t want to offload more emotional baggage to him.

And that’s when I found ‘support’ in the vast, virtual world of the Internet.  I didn’t know of anyone who seemed to understand the turmoil I was going through (close friends who try to understand your position but ain’t in it doesn’t count). Or at least no one was sharing except my SIL (who was also been an incredible source of inspiration to me but was also miles away and had her hands full with a newborn).

I turned to Mr. Google and from one click (Stirrup Queens) to another, I was eventually led to Elphie’s blog. Her style of writing, humor, sarcasm and wit were too entertaining & hilarious yet relatable that I found myself being able to lighten up & laugh at our ttc situation a lot more. It was such a relief to know that I wasn’t alone. Even the husband enjoyed reading her posts occasionally and was glad that it helped me manage my monthly pessimism better.

I had just quit my job (to try that ‘relax and it will happen’ advice we paid the docs $75 for every visit) when Elphie announced that she was finally preggers! That entry definitely brought me a lot of encouragement (turns out she did the relax thingy for that particular month too). I also loved that she continued to be sensitive to her readers, most of whom were still trying and didn’t brag about it like some fertile idiot who just sneezed a bun into her oven. She didn’t stop becoming the Elphie that I grew to knew and was still in every way, real about her concerns, worries etc.

And that continued to help me keep myself and my worry wot in check when I finally graduated to the 1st trimester 3.5 months after her. :)

The post that I believed helped me get there in a strange little way (and I still chuckle about it till today) was when Elphie boldly declared that she had a really strong feeling that it (baby) would happen in the next month. For a while, I kept wondering what sort of a feeling that was. I mean, if there was a way of coming close to knowing when project baby might happen (well, hope is always a good thing right?), I wanted to know the signs. Like how we know a fever is usually followed after a flu?

And surreally enough, that ‘feeling’ did take place in end June (right after I dealt with the monthly disappointment) and I recalled Bo telling me that he wasn’t all optimistic for July (maybe because I was getting too overly optimistic) anyway. I did however have such a strong, good feeling that July was going to be THE month that I blogged anonymously (for fear of embarrassment and failure) elsewhere at the start of July that I had this nagging feeling that this cycle was going to the one. And that feeling didn’t disappoint. Still grateful till this day and will always be.

So Elphie, thank you for motivating me in so many ways to defeat my infertility doubts & monsters. Reading your journey to mommyhood has been nothing short of amazing (at least I know I’m normal to feel similar worries & concerns every step of the way).

I’m very sure that both you & Mr. M will be incredible, awesome parents to baby girl and that she will grow up to be the wonderful daughter & woman that you wish for her to be.

And for baby Penny’s shower, here’s a little something which will be arriving in the mail real soon:

A baby einstein tunes box for those little hands to hold and take to anywhere, keep her entertained while you & Mr.M gets some quality time to hold hands, hug or just sip a cuppa coffee (p/s: I’ve checked, sound quality is fantastic and ain’t those annoying versions)

For your new addition this Christmas. I can already imagine how magical the celebration and merry-making is going to be with your little bundle of joy.

xoxo,

Natasha